My View on Feminism
Last night,it became clear to me that a lot more Nigerians than I thought,do not understand something basic.
So I will clear it up.
I made a post about how feminism isn’t about women being better,higher placed or treated better than men. I said feminism is JUST about women having the same human rights,the same human dignity as men.
Someone then asked that if I think women should have the same rights as men,if I think women should be equal to men in society....then in a situation where a man marries 4 wives,who then should be the head of that polygamous situation??
Here’s the thing. Marriage or romantic relationships are PERSONAL! Nigerians have this tendency of just skipping to the institution of marriage when feminism is spoken about. But feminism entails ALOT more. There are various types of marriages. I had a neighbor when I used to live in Zone6 Abuja,foreign affairs quarters...the man of the house used to carry his wife’s bag for her to the car EVERYDAY before she would go to work. They had been married for 16 years at that time. For them,that was working. They are still married.
I know another couple who’s wife serves the husband food in his own special plates and tray EVERYDAY....he eats and gets up and she clears the plates. For them,that arrangement was working. After 10 years...they are still married.
Here is my point. As long as you weren’t forced to marry whoever you married,whatever arrangement you both agree on,is NOBODY’S business! Any arrangement or form of dynamics that works for both of you....feminism supports....as long as nobody is forcing anyone to do anything. Mutual understanding.
Dictating how wives must behave and how husbands must behave is NOT what feminism is about. Feminism isn’t about dictating to a wife and husband who must rule their home....that’s an agreement between the two based on what works for them....after all they dated before marriage.
Feminism is just demanding that when a wife stabs and kills her husband like Maryam Sanda did....it should go as viral as when a man kills his wife. It is demanding that a woman like Akpoti who is unmarried running for an election shouldn’t be harassed about her personal life because a man like Dino who ran for an election unmarried was not insulted about his personal life....both of them are single parents. Feminism is basically saying EVERYONE regardless of gender in SOCIETY should be accorded the SAME RESPECT and DIGNITY....because we are all human beings. Shikena.
By Alikeju Zainab Ocheni
Last night,it became clear to me that a lot more Nigerians than I thought,do not understand something basic.
So I will clear it up.
I made a post about how feminism isn’t about women being better,higher placed or treated better than men. I said feminism is JUST about women having the same human rights,the same human dignity as men.
Someone then asked that if I think women should have the same rights as men,if I think women should be equal to men in society....then in a situation where a man marries 4 wives,who then should be the head of that polygamous situation??
Here’s the thing. Marriage or romantic relationships are PERSONAL! Nigerians have this tendency of just skipping to the institution of marriage when feminism is spoken about. But feminism entails ALOT more. There are various types of marriages. I had a neighbor when I used to live in Zone6 Abuja,foreign affairs quarters...the man of the house used to carry his wife’s bag for her to the car EVERYDAY before she would go to work. They had been married for 16 years at that time. For them,that was working. They are still married.
I know another couple who’s wife serves the husband food in his own special plates and tray EVERYDAY....he eats and gets up and she clears the plates. For them,that arrangement was working. After 10 years...they are still married.
Here is my point. As long as you weren’t forced to marry whoever you married,whatever arrangement you both agree on,is NOBODY’S business! Any arrangement or form of dynamics that works for both of you....feminism supports....as long as nobody is forcing anyone to do anything. Mutual understanding.
Dictating how wives must behave and how husbands must behave is NOT what feminism is about. Feminism isn’t about dictating to a wife and husband who must rule their home....that’s an agreement between the two based on what works for them....after all they dated before marriage.
Feminism is just demanding that when a wife stabs and kills her husband like Maryam Sanda did....it should go as viral as when a man kills his wife. It is demanding that a woman like Akpoti who is unmarried running for an election shouldn’t be harassed about her personal life because a man like Dino who ran for an election unmarried was not insulted about his personal life....both of them are single parents. Feminism is basically saying EVERYONE regardless of gender in SOCIETY should be accorded the SAME RESPECT and DIGNITY....because we are all human beings. Shikena.
By Alikeju Zainab Ocheni
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